Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
