We won't sleep together?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
