haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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