Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
