the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
