dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I am naked and annoyed.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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