dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
