Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
