So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
