i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
