Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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