Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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