I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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