I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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