But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
