you didnt know i had herpes?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
