The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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