haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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