okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
