After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
