where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
