Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
