I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize