Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize