you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
