so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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