Don't EVER smell your tampon
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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