Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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