Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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