i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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