the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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