I haven't been this sober since birth.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
