apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize