i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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