I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
