There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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