so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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