suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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