we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
