Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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