god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
