i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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