At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
