worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize