glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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