I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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