Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
