Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
