every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
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apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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