yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
