Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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