I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
