I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
