if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
