we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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