my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize