never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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