Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize