Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
