im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
don't judge my taste in strippers
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
