so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
