Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
