He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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