Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
