ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
